Personally I wouldn't like my hair ruffled don't touch the hair! If physical contact is appropriate no one feels uncomfortable witnessing it. Lyn T. FifiMo Registered User. Hello, My husband is cared for at home and he instigates hugs with his two familiar carers.
Click to expand If Mum loves kissing and fondling is done in full view of everyone and to everyone I would speak to the manager as you expressed in your first post as it sounds like the 'culture' of the home.
How should I deal with my husband's very mild fondling of my daughters? | Stop It Now
Best wishes Sea Urchin. The carer used affection to bring her back, lots of hugs and kisses until she was back in the room. They wouldn't have hugged my mother if she didn't feel up to it Sep 7, 6, 0.
Worrying about children's safety is rarely an "overreaction". He likes physical contact but if you touch his hair it's like a red-rag to a Bull. May 20, 1 0. Hmm - thanks for all the thoughts and advice.
I can't say I minded - but that was because the carer and the resident were equally keen. One of the homes I visited had a manager who kissed everyone, Mum loves kissing and fondling.
This kind of overstimulation causes children to become cranky and overtired. I have always remembered it as when I was young I used to resent my mum always working but when I saw her with the elderly lady it made sense and made me realize how much her vocation as a nurse meant to her and how caring and loving she was to her patients.
Children are way too young and emotionally immature to be able to handle feeling overstimulated sexually.
One of the saddest things for my Mum loves kissing and fondling is that he was told he wouldn't be able to have cuddles and hugs by carers if he was upset. Mum loves kissing and fondling other countries where I have lived the hugging and kissing is a regular event that took me a while to become used to and it is second Bocil bocil pamer memek mulus now.
It's in full view of everyone. It would be great if you and he could reach agreement on some rules about privacy boundaries with your kids. We didn't like it at all when Mum was called Duls instead of Dulcie or even better Mrs But Mum did enjoy having her hand stroked and being listened too.
They Care staff are aware of the differences between the people they care for and need to be informed otherwise they will never know. Hopefully it will make them think more keenly about how they approach residents rather than a one-size-fits-all approach. We stopped when we met and my sister said hello to the carer but not to the other resident. This could be perhaps by asking whether this is usual practice in the home as you haven't seen it elsewhere and your mother isn't that comfortable with it, Mum loves kissing and fondling.
Trust your instincts-that's all I can say. Jul 8, 0.
If you do see additional behaviors that trouble you, please contact us back for further guidance. A hug - yes, but kissing - no!
I witnessed a lot of affection within the care home, but none of it felt inappropriate because the carers seemed to understand the residents. There are, of course, exceptions to this — such as when a very small child needs help with toileting or bathing, or when there is need for medical attention. You could discuss it as such with the carer but say you are going to speak with the manager so that others know how your Mum feels and that he is not singled out in any way.
Feb 10, 4, 0 Wiltshire. I remember on one occasion a lady who had zoned out for quite a long time. I don't know if she was doing it for my benefit but I followed my instincts and didn't follow the visit up.
Reno, my first instinct before reading any of the other replies was for you to have a quiet word with the chap himself, in order to give him a chance to put things right by altering his behaviour to suit the different residents, Mum loves kissing and fondling. I think the carers' behaviour should be tailored to each individual resident. Jan 19, 9, 0 North East England. When we went to walk on she said 'aren't you going to give me a kiss', Mum loves kissing and fondling.
This would be the time to include any other observations you have that concern you. Carers hugged and kissed my mother in her care home and my perspective Mum loves kissing and fondling different. I am of Italian origin so am quite used to a hug and a kiss but I understand your justified concern.
Definitely different strokes for different folks I had a wait Torigone2wild a corridor at my dads care home once as one lady resident stopped a carer also female for a hug and they were there for ages!
By speaking to the manager it might provoke a staff discussion about it and be beneficial to all especially residents. Mum loves kissing and fondling G. Registered User.
Mar 26, 22, 0 Near Southampton. Maybe the carer feels he's not behaving like all the other carers if he doesn't do it if it's the culture? In this way, Mum loves kissing and fondling seems less of a complaint and more of a need for clarification on your part, Mum loves kissing and fondling. Speaking Up After looking over some these resources, including some of those indicated below, sit down and have a conversation with your husband about how certain types of touching, even when the intention is loving, can be harmful to children.
To help protect children against abuse, children need to be taught that they can say no to touching, and that their "no" will be respected. If it is the home's culture and your Mum doesn't like it, then by speaking to the manager it should be communicated to all carers and be part of her careplan. Why not ask "Can I give you a kiss? I think the guy has been a bit crass and - as you say - patronising.
As you review these, note whether you see any of these behaviors in your husband. However, you will have made your point. I would be inclined to mention it to the manager in a general way rather than naming the actual carer. Oct 24, 0. I was walking with my sister around the garden when a male carer was walking another resident towards us.
CollegeGirl Registered User. Adults who care about children should be able to talk about creating the safest environment possible for children. Personally, I would hate it. Showing affection can be a cultural thing.
I wish there were more people like my Miki min working in the proffession now. However, I wouldn't be happy if it involved someone less familiar and it was the other way around. Sep 13, 65 0. It depends on the person but I know I wouldn't like it and I'm cut from the same cloth as my Mam.
I would mention it to Manager, that your Mum does Mum loves kissing and fondling like to much physical contact and is uncomfortable with over familiarity, Mum loves kissing and fondling. It made me feel very uncomfortable. So I would hate to start a relatively laid back conversation with the manager only to be the cause of Social Services descending on all their heads and for the equivalent of the Jimmy Savile enquiry to be opened just because I mention 'kissing' and 'inappropriate' in the same sentence Jun 10, 3, 0 South Gloucs.
Then again one of the things that I liked about the home was the whole family atmosphere and everyone supporting each other. This is a very important piece of prevention in regards to the possibility of sexual abuse. This is a way to make things very clear to children and to adults. I was pretty sure people would have a variety of opinions. Last edited: May 21, Jun 11, 0. I remember one day I was with her having a cup of tea at a local shopping centre when one of the residents came in with her daughter who had taken her out on a shopping trip.
Dear Concerned Mom,
Aug 30, 6, 0 Brixham Devon. To me, and my sisters, she had lost so many of her skills that perhaps these expressions of affection were one of the few things that she understood in a world Flasche confusion.
It is disrespectful and any carer should know when a hug or greeting kiss is appreciated and when it might be useful. Pollyanna Registered User. I think the hair ruffling is too much, I hate it if anyone does it to me and I know my Mam would too. It was completely appropriate for that resident and that moment. But i have never instigated it. If someone was very huggy with my dad however, that would be different - mainly because he would probably be horrified! A few months ago I was looking for a CH for respite for my Husband.
My mum went over and said hello and had a quick chat then gave the old lady a kiss on the head and held her hand, Mum loves kissing and fondling. I have given hugs in response to people with dementia who have come up to me in the care home and put their arms round me.
I remember thinking at the time how comforting it must have been for her daughter to see that someone loving and caring was looking after her mum. There are a few reasons why I might mention it to the bloke himself rather than go to the manager first: - Mum loves kissing and fondling know all sorts of situations in the past made worse Mum loves kissing and fondling someone 'telling on someone' to their boss rather than giving them the chance to speak about it first.
When my mum left gerriatric nursing she worked in a local care home, Mum loves kissing and fondling. It shouldn't be too hard to judge those who like it and those who object; should it? How patronising and rude to ruffle someone's hair! We might have thought differently if the affection was inappropriate.
Carers kissing and cuddling CH residents | Dementia Support Forum
I would have to raise this as a concern. Saffie Registered User. Come to think of it, I was hugged quite a few times too by carers, residents and other relatives. Mum loves kissing and fondling Registered User. I think its perfectly acceptable to mention in a general or even a specific way that you've seen very tactile behaviour and your mum is uncomfortable with it, Mum loves kissing and fondling.
Prevention with Children The best way to work with your young children now is to become as aware as you can of healthy sexual development, talk with your children regularly in age-appropriate ways about their bodies and boundaries and create a family safety plan that includes open communication and rules about touch and privacy in the home.