Its a rough road sometimes. This is a good time to process some of these things, in particular the very important point made by rockindata Boy madam xxx - that your child needs to be kept safe, Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom.
Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. That said, it's precisely at the moment when they have have kids of their own that a lot of people realize how much they need to distance themselves from abusive parents. I've worked through a lot of things pretty well and there's nothing like your own kid to give you some perspective. Maybe use this as an opportunity to increase the distance between him and you, if not cutting ties altogether. He acknowledges that he is super easy on him, and that he probably lets him get away with a lot because he feels guilty for the Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom family.
We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. Even though, his certifiably crazy ex wife was the one who cheated on him with numerous different men, and 5 years ago left him for the man she is now living with The point is: it's freakin hard, and especially when you want to be a little more involved and strict than the child's natural parent.
A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. Act accordingly. But you don't have to tell him if you don't want to. I think that just doing it will keep him from taking up as much headspace, since you won't have to wonder if you SHOULD tell اثنين حرام يسبح سكس. You are powerless in the family home to make an adult change or be good or get help.
But he is 11, and his father does spoil him. Pregnancy Brain Moments? That is the model of relations that has been passed on through your childhood experiences, and your identification as a woman with your mother's trauma. You are more likely to regret not telling him than you will regret telling him.
Consistency is key and if you and your man are serious about marriage and a future together the daughter and your baby will need to see you two as a unified unit with the same expectations and rules regardless of who is around this will help both of you get on the Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom page with what is and what will be expected of all children. Help Keep Our Community Safe To create a safe place, please be respectful and kind be Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom to other opinions think twice before sharing personal details On our end, Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom, we will foster a friendly and supportive environment remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation delete posts that violate our community guidelines.
My husband Latest: 2 months ago BabyWildflowers. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. It is okay not to forgive him. I would be worried that if he knew he has a grandchild, and you keep him away from the child, he would threaten you for denying visits - like he threatened your mom after she left.
Finally I snapped at her one day when she was getting sniffly about "your father would have loved this! Mail him a birth announcement. It gets easier as they get older. This is when it happens for a lot of us with early childhood disruptions, violence and trauma. Jump to Your Week of Pregnancy. Your husband may need help.
Report as Inappropriate. Your dad isn't in your life right now, so he doesn't have access to information about you.
14 year old step daughter pregnant - Stay-at-Home Moms | Forums | What to Expect
I don't think I could have left her alone with the two of you! Basically, keep ex wife out of your day to day household. There's nothing wrong with that course of action or inaction. Consider a therapist, Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom. WTE Must Reads. A grandparent can absolutely do better than they did as a parent but it's not your duty to allow your father this absolution.
Please specify a reason for deleting 14 year old step daughter pregnant from the community. But if he hadn't died, I don't know that I would have had my child. Arirad1 said:. Beach bigtits father, when we were partially estranged, went around telling relatives that he had NOT been an abusive parent, which kept getting back to me.
You are under no obligation to allow him into your child's life. People who are abusive tend to have a lot of defenses up and they can incorporate something like this into their self-justifying narrative pretty smoothly. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. You can do it! If somebody else tells him you're fine with him knowing, but you're not going to go out of your way to tell him.
And if part of this is about solidarity with your mother, that is just fine in my book. But mentally and emotionally he was a ticking bomb. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. And hopefully your partner is on board with supporting you as you work through this. I am pregnant with her half sibling EDD May 24th. It's one thing to hear "Your Grandfather hurt your Grandmother and me and never took responsibility for that, and so I decided that I wouldn't allow him into your life because you're too precious.
This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. For many personal reasons you've decided that you don't want your dad in your life right now. You Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom far from being alone here. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators:. Processing injuries and abuse from your childhood in your thirties is not a sign of immaturity.
I think I had a feeling and I feel like it's not uncommon that parents are an uncontrolled force in our lives. I found out later that he was molesting his nine Latest: 5 days ago apetro. We did this once I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. This is assuming that you don't anticipate that this would put you in any physical or emotional danger; it didn't sound like this was an issue from Now viral pinay1 v4 post, Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom.
But he could also be a really funny, warm hearted guy and on his good days a model for the kind of man you would want in your life. I had an IDEA of what o was getting into when I got with my husband, but you don't really know until you are living the situation day in and day out. Welcome to Stay-at-Home Moms!
All you've done is set some healthy, reasonable boundaries for somebody who unapologetically abused your mother. In expecting 2nd child 14 year age gap.
To create a safe place, please
Go to previous page Go to page number Go to page number. So if your decision is based purely on a wish to hurt him I'd think a little deeper about that, perhaps in therapy, Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom.
He's quiet, and easy going, and listens. My father was abusive and an alcoholic and very anxious and our homelife was very tense because of his behaviors. I make suggestions for what he can say, or restrict etc, and he respects my opinion and follows through, Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom.
Introduce yourself Ask a question Share your experience Receive updates from this group. This is what my husband boyfriend at the time did when I got pregnant with our daughter. I had and have some bad feelings about my childhood.
Let's Have a Laugh! Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. I wish I had done so at that time. Check Enterbio feelings OP. You already called her "mom's mini me" and make digs at the mom when talking about the child. He had the residual guilt of a failed relationship and of being a poor father when he and I started dating.
My mother never left him and he did get treatment for his alcoholism and depression. Just like you needed to be as a child, and clearly you weren't.
Let him be the "bad guy" I went through this with my husband. Escalate to Moderator. You do have to accept your position and earn it. Some of which has been very healing. He worked on it in my teen years as well. But I would consider the conversation you'll have with the child in the future about why they never knew their Grandfather. That was his choice but now he reaps the consequences which is that he doesn't have a family in his old age. Would you be OK with that? I'm not sure the act of not telling him will come across as punishment; if he's hurt by it, he's not going to connect it to anything he's done, and he's not going to think it's his fault.
The children will adjust. OP, I have an Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom yr old stepson and he is a great kid. So the thought of bringing a child in and not having control over my Dad was terrifying. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. I will call DSS out of I can tell he is getting Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom attitude for no reason, and he usually responds well to me.
Remember, she's 5. You don't have to maintain a relationship with him, nor do you have to have him near your child. Follow us on. You can't just come in and demand respect from a new stepchild.
You have no obligation to your father to "do the right thing" or forgive him his sins. The first thing I thought when I read this question is that although I'm sure this is not what you intend, I'm troubled by your framing of this as punishment or something that would really "burn him" because it sounds like you are using your child as a weapon against him, kind of the way some divorced parents do. That's completely acceptable. We were kids! You're a grownup, you get to decide who you want to have in your life, for whatever reason.
Pregnant & my stepdaughter is being very difficult - Page 2 | BabyCenter
Let her talk shit. Which is it's own sort of torture — being there for a parent's recovery. Talk to him separately when you see something that needs correction, and give him advice on what he should do and how he should handle it Try as hard as it is to step back and let him do the work. It is way harder for her than it is for you. You don't need to Virgin innocent girl why you are reluctant exactly, but it makes complete sense to me that your pregnancy would ignite some of the issues of attachment you have with him.
He took money that Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom mom could have and probably would have used to make your life and future easier, so he could make his life easier and better. It's as simple as that. Because as kids, that is really true.
Husband does. I agree with rockindata. I agree. I strongly recommend adopting the view that your primary loyalty is owed to Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom child, and if other loyalties ever come into conflict with that one, child automatically wins.
First off, my heart goes out to you and all women and men who struggle in this way. You need to sit down with your fiance and discuss what rules you want all children to follow and both of you begin to enforce them. But, when it comes to actual correction, I nudge DH and tell him he needs Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom say something or do something about whatever it is. Be patient and kind and she should come around.
My ex was 40 and I was 19 turning 20 when I met him. Trending On What to Expect. He hurt your mom. Nadali ni pogi I am a mom of a soon to be 3 year old and a 14 month old.
But if it is to protect you and your family or because you simply don't want him involved in the next generation then you don't need to justify anything to anyone. And that absolutely involves keeping people known to have a history of domestic violence as far away from your child as you possibly can, by whatever means are available to you, regardless of any putative claims that such people might make on your loyalty.
Since finding out I was pregnant I have not been excited I have said I was done having kids previously. It sounds like you are overall annoyed with her and resent her a bit. We get along pretty well, and he is not the kind of kid that acts out at all.
As a parent-to-be, now is a pretty good time to start wrapping your head around the idea that decisions bearing moral weight become a hell of a lot clearer and easier once you adopt the policy that having chosen to bring an initially completely helpless child into the world, it's only fair to prioritize the needs of that child above all else until they're mature enough to cope with the world on Kapde xxx own.
It doesn't sound like you particularly want to tell him, and nor are you under any obligation to do so. I've had numerous talks with DH about discipline, Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom, chores, attitude, helping out, etc. My mother was the peacemaker.
Deal with your shit!! Do it for your own peace of mind and for your child's future, but don't assume he'll interpret it the way you mean it. Idc what anyone says. Opens a new window Opens a new window Opens a new window Opens a new window. Maybe as a thought experiment, list out some of the possible outcomes and which ones you could live with. I also have 2 bonus step kids, Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom. I will bring him into the other room and explain to him what I'm seeing and ask him to deal with it.
Permanently delete post? I agree with Billiebee. Good luck sister!!! He was so unpredictable and could be so damaging and also plainly negligent that I would have had to be on my guard at all times with him.
He was loving to you when you were the easiest age as a kid to love, and the moment it became slightly difficult, he chose himself over his family.
The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff, Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom. It changed a lot! To her credit, she's never said anything like that again.
He abused her as well but not physically as far as I know. If part of the processing of the traumatic events you witnessed and experienced is that you take your time to tell your father about your pregnancy, if at all, then that is okay. I ask him to do his homework, help me out around the house, clean his room, etc.
My mom was sad that he missed out on grandkids, and especially that first year of my baby would bring up this fact. Latest: 2 months ago 17yrsStillTrying. Secondly, take it as it comes. Good luck! There is nothing wrong with that. It's not fair and it's not right. I'm not saying "allow him access", I'm saying he sounds like he could be a real threat given this incentive. I had my daughter over a year after he died. It's definitely possible that he'll hear about this Man ka lauda think it's just really puzzling or that you are being weird.
You Dad pregnant her doughter in front of mom need to make this decision now.